When there’s an adorable kitten or puppy gamboling across your kitchen, you can be forgiven if you’re not thinking about its future demise.
“But unless you’re 80 and adopt a parrot, you’re going to outlive them,” said Mollyrose Dumm ’07, of Urban Animal, which is based in Seattle and is the country’s largest veterinary worker cooperative.
Most animal lovers aren’t prepared for the day when their veterinarian gives them the bad news that their pet is in decline. For these folks, there’s Comfort Animal — a service Dumm designed to help people facing their pet’s life-limiting diagnosis or chronic condition. She developed the idea after watching her own dog, Izzy, grow older and after losing several members of her human family. She said goodbye to 16-year-old Izzy two years ago.
Dumm recognized that the feelings she experienced with Izzy resembled the ones she’d felt for her human family members. It’s called anticipatory grief — a combination of anxiety, guilt, fear, and other emotions that precede a loss that you know is on the horizon. She started researching the subject and learned how early it can appear, how long it can last, and how it can manifest with real physical or psychological symptoms.
Dumm works with clients to discuss end-of-life or chronic condition care for their pets. She isn’t a vet, but she is certified as an animal hospice and palliative care practitioner, and a companion animal end-of-life doula. Aside from providing direct support to her clients, she can function as a liaison with the veterinarian.
“Most people want to know that their pet is comfortable, that they’re not in pain, and if there’s an option to euthanize — to know when it’s too early, and not too late,” she says. “A big part of the conversation is honoring the relationship you have with them.”
And after death, she helps find a way to continue honoring it — maybe it’s a photo on your nightstand, just saying goodnight each evening. Most importantly, Dumm wants people to know they are not ridiculous or foolish for grieving a pet that played an important role in their life: “Our pets are often who we go to when we can’t talk to people.”
“I give you permission to feel the way you feel,” she adds. “I remind people to give themselves grace.”
